Sunday, May 28, 2006

he's gone

Ok, so its been like 4 days and I'm already beyond ready for it to be over with. Part of me is super-pissed bc he's out partying and having a great time, living the single life already. not that I really care, but I guess I just want him to care. I want him to be sitting at his parent's house depressed and sad, wanting to work things out, willing to do whatever it takes to come home. I want him to be miserable. But he's not, he's loving it. Which just tells me more than anything that I'm doing the right thing. It's not even bothering him to be gone. I guess I'm mostly pissed because I want him to be something he'll never be. A decent person. he just doesn't have it in him. that much is obvious.

To top it all off, all the good shows have already had their season finale's so I'm home alone watching reruns. not that he and I were ever in the same room when he was here anyway. I just have a lot on my mind, and a lot to deal with, this is going to be hard, and he's out having the time of his life. its just frustrating.

and I'm even more pissed cause I dont know why I even care. Oh well at least I dont have to work tomorrow. Hooray for national holidays!


carla said...

hang in there, and i'm here for you.

missy said...

you CAN do this, build that wall up a little bit and cowgirl up!