Saturday, April 07, 2007

can we say boring?

wow, I wish I had something interesting to say, I just... well... dont! I've been working, hanging with the kids, fighting with family, and neglecting friends. life as usual around here. I have finally gone from saying "I have no life" to saying "this IS my life". And I'm finding a way to accept that. To stop looking for what's not there, and never will be. It's not easy, and it's definitely not fun, but its about as real as it gets.

See, I thought sitting at home with my kids, watching pay per view and popping pop corn was "no life". That having a life meant going out with my friends, being the life of the party, chasing tequila shooters with Miller Lite, and giving out wrong phone numbers to creepy guys. After all, the only way to meet someone was to be out in all that, right? well... I'm beginning to think that maybe, thats not what I need. And I'm not sure it was ever what I wanted. It's just what was expected of me. I was "that girl". to my friends, my family, everyone. I was the girl they called when they wanted to go out and have a blast... I was the one my mom (or grandma) always expected to call from the drunk tank with a "can you come pick me up"... even though that NEVER happened. lol I wasn't happy home alone with the computer and the tv. I wasn't happy unless I was right in the thick of it, drinking too much, singing too loud, and smiling too big. But I'm 29 years old, and single or not... I'm just too old for all that silliness.

So, its time to find a way to settle down. To learn to play the hand I was dealt, and stop drawing new cards, or hoping for that Ace in the hole. I'm a big girl, and its time I started acting that way!

1 comment:

carla said...

b o r i n g. . .